The Road to Israel is Meant to be Difficult...

.... and the Israeli Consulate is there to make sure of it.

I now understand why people say that anything worth having is worth struggling for.

ALIYAH AGENCY: Welcome! So you want to make aliyah? Wonderful. We are here to help you in any way we can.

ME: Thank you.

ALIYAH AGENCY: So, have you ever been to Israel?

ME: Once, when I was sixteen, for about two weeks.

ALIYAH AGENCY: Lovely. Now, to get things started I will need some information about your family history. Have either of your parents ever lived in Israel?

ME: Yes. As a matter of fact, both of my parents came to Israel after the Holocaust. They spent several years there before they moved to America to get married.

ALIYAH AGENCY: Really? Did they serve in the army?

ME: Yes.

ALIYAH AGENCY: So they are Israeli citizens?

ME: Yes. I suppose.

ALIYAH AGENCY: CONGRATULATIONS!!! You are already an Israeli!

ME: ?

ALIYAH AGENCY: According to Israeli law anyone born to an Israeli citizen is automatically considered an Israeli citizen. You are what is called an "Ezrach Oleh", an Israeli citizen born abroad.

ME: Okay.

ALIYAH AGENCY: Of course, this means you will have to get an Israeli passport before you can make aliyah.

ME: Will that be difficult?

ALIYAH AGENCY: No, of course not. (lying through their teeth) You are an Israeli! Just go to the Israeli Consulate and they will issue you a passport right away. They are in this very same building on the 17th floor. Nothing could be easier. (lying again)

TO BE CONTINUED...